Today’s letter comes from Ron. It is nice to see a dad writing in.
My wife is breastfeeding our first born and I feel left out. Not just from the baby’s life but from my wife’s life as well. Is there anything I can do to be more involved or feel more involved?
Thank you for your question. There are a few ways to feel more involved. I would nurse everywhere in the house. Sometimes my fiancee would be sitting next to me and we would hang out. When my milk supply started to drop he helped by helping me relax. He helped massage my breasts gently. It wasn’t a sexual thing but it helped him still have contact and helped my milk let down. I would also pump a lot of milk and he would give our son bottles from time to time. There were times I would be nursing in bed and he would gently massage our sons head. It was tender and sweet. I am amazed at how much just those little things meant to me. One of the nicest things he would do was get our son if he was crying and bring him to me. It was something small but sometimes those little actions mean more than flowers or gifts.
As for the sexual aspect. I always laughed and said I didn’t understand why parents have less sex. Why should having a baby hinder sex. WOW, was I in for a shock. LOL It is amazing how priorities shift and being intimate shifts to cuddle time and relaxing together. We are both so tired at the end of the night during the week that we pass out before our sex drives kick in. I will give you some hope, intimate time gets much easier once the baby sleeps through the night.