Cyber Bullying of a Mourning Mother via Facebook

 

I was saddened to hear that cyber bullying is occurring on Facebook when they claim to be tough on it.  Don’t believe the claims, Facebook protects the cowardly bullies under their privacy terms.

This case is so close to home that I don’t know where to even begin.  First here are some basics.  My friend was about 23-24 weeks pregnant when it was determined that there wasn’t a fetal heartbeat.  She had to go through labor and delivery of her stillborn daughter.  This act alone for a mother is the hardest most devastating moment of their lives.  She was blessed to have had the precious moments with her angel baby where she could hold her in her arms, look at her tiny hands and feet, and say goodbye.

With that she shared openly her loss.  Her friends were by her side offering support.  She posted pictures of her beautiful baby girl.  Julianna Skye, was a baby who wasn’t strong enough to take a breath in our world but instead crossed over to be an angel for her mommy and big sister.  Her spirit lives on for them in the few pictures that my friend was able to take of her and her precious baby in those short moments they had together before she had to hand Julianna to a nurse to be taken away.

Shortly after she posted the photos of her daughter someone had marked one of the photos as abusive and she was notified.  She was so upset and a bunch of us commented about this spineless person and how horrible it was of them to do this to a mother who just lost her baby.  She went offline for a few weeks and came back creating a new profile that was private and just for people who were friends.  On December 26, 2014, Julianna’s due date, my friend and her daughter did a balloon release at her grave site.  She was having the lowest moment of her day posted her pictures and opened up to us, the ones she thought were her friends.  Someone in the group submitted the picture of her daughter as “graphic violence” to the Facebook admin.  She tried to contact Facebook in regards to her photos and what she went through and all she was cold in a cold email is that they wouldn’t tell her who was reporting them.  If she knew who was reporting them she could have blocked them from her page.

Some people may not see reporting 2 images as bullying but the face that my friend created a new profile and it happened again means it was someone who knew her and it was a deliberate stab when she was most vulnerable.  Facebook’s privacy BS but when it is used to protect a coward who is getting off on tormenting a grieving mother they should really step up and help that mother not add to her pain and suffering.  I asked my friend if I could post the picture of her little girl because to me she looks like a sleeping angel in a praying position.  Not one thing about this photo is violent or graphic.  Julianna is swaddled like any other newborn after birth with a cap and blanket wrapped to look like an outfit.

Rest in Peace beautiful angel baby, Julianna Skye.

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Question of the Day: Should Children be Banned from High End Restaurants?

This post is spawned for an article from NBC Chef Grant Achatz starts Twitter debate: Should babies be banned from high-end restaurants? by Tracy Saelinger (TODAY contributor).

I don’t think they should ban babies, it is up to the parents to be respectful of others who are dining. If the baby should get agitated or upset and cry, take a breather and walk with the baby. At 8 mo my son was still Breastfeeding so a quick boob fix was all he would need to nod back off again or at least relax and be in mommy milk trance for a while. With that said, my almost 2-year-old doesn’t understand “inside” voice yet. Personally, I would never dream of bringing him to a 3 hour, 18 course meal that cost over $200 per plate and you have to wait for weeks or months for a table.

If you can afford a restaurant that expensive then you probably have a full-time live in nanny that the kids can stay with. Or at least a full-time nanny/babysitter you can ask to stay late and pay them an overtime bonus. Do babysitters cancel, sure they do but then be the respectful parent and walk out when your baby starts to cry. If you are like most Americans and you can’t “normally” afford the restaurant then it is a “special” date night and you should enjoy your spouse/significant other/whoever you are with without babies and children.

We have not had a date night since R was born. We did attempt it once when the little guy was 5 months old but we were called back before our dinner was served. We take him everywhere, he has even been to an Irish Pub!! Of course it was for a late lunch, but he had a good time sitting at the table like a big boy, no high chairs there. He is a good baby/toddler and on the rare occasion when he gets a little loud(or has a tantrum) I excuse myself and take him outside for a cool down walk. Most times people give the look of sympathy as I walk by with a mad toddler.

All in all, maybe not ban babies but if the parents don’t get off their asses and take the baby out of the restaurant then definitely have the waiter politely ask them to take the baby outside until it has calmed down and is no longer crying. It is the parents who need to be respectful of others.

Toddler Play Areas

Good Morning Blog readers!!  It is Monday morning and we are ready for another yoyo week of rain, snow, rain and more snow.  While mother nature has it in for us here in the wonderful state of Massachusetts with the temps bouncing between the 20’s and the 40’s we have a fun-filled week ahead.  Maybe I can witness my son doing something crazy again.  LOL

This past Saturday we  were at the local mall play area where I usually take him to play and burn some energy.  I love watching all the different children interact together.  It amazes me every time we go how many adults aren’t keeping an eye on the children they are there with.  They are playing with or talking on their phones.  In the meantime I have a toddler running around having a good time going through the tunnels and climbing into the cars and boats.  The thing that annoys me the most is when the unsupervised children are jumping off of one of the play fixtures.  It isn’t the jumping part as much as where they are jumping off.  They jump off over the tunnel holes.  I can’t count how many times I have had to either tell those kids to be careful there were toddlers and babies crawling through the tunnel.  I often wonder how much these kids get away with at home if they are so unruly and neglected in a public play area.  Sometimes I want to go up to the adults and ask them if they think it is ok for the child they are not watching to potentially jump on my baby, now toddler’s head.  I bite my tongue so far because when I ask the older kids to be careful they typically stop or at least look before jumping to make sure it is clear of littler kids.

The funniest thing I have seen my little guy do in the play area this weekend.  There was a little boy, maybe about 5 years old, starting to have a temper tantrum.  The little boy started to yell and scream with some tears because his adult told him it was time to leave.  So my little guy stops in his tracks while running around, looks at the little boy and yells at him with a growl like yell.  It really sounded like he was possessed by the demon in the exorcist.  Then my little one ran away squealing with delight.  The little boy stopped his tantrum like he was in shock, got down still sniffling, and went over to his adult to leave without a fight.  I have no idea what was said in that scary yell but it was enough to help calm the tantrum.  Now, if only I had a child to do that when my little guy is having a tantrum.  LOL

Some People Suck!!

My mind is still spinning about something that happened today.  A dear friend of mine always puts other people first.  She has nothing, and when I say nothing I mean her unemployment was cut off when she was owed about 7 weeks past due pay, Her husband has been out of work thanks to the holidays and his clients going on vacations, they don’t even have money for their rent.  Their Christmas celebration was happy because of the generosity of others.  Today I was scoping out some of the Facebook boards I am on to see if there was anything else I “needed”.  I noticed my friend had some things posted for sale and then some guy she doesn’t even know and I have never seen active in the group before replies with the nastiest comment accusing her of asking for Christmas Donation gifts and then re-selling them.

ARE YOU EFF’N KIDDING ME BUDDY!!! (check out: “Christmas is a Time for Giving“)

Well, I don’t tolerate people talking crap about others and god forbid you do it about one of my friends but when you tell a blatant lie that I happen to be associated with WATCH OUT!!!  I think being a full-time Mommy has kicked the Mama Bear Instinct into over drive.  I set him straight on that real quick and tagged the moderators of the group in my comment so nothing could be twisted about me or my post.  I must pat myself on the back because I was direct about it but I was pretty nice too.

After I had that posted up I read through some of the other comments after his on her post and I can’t believe how absolutely terrible people can be.  It was like watching a bunch of middle school punks bullying another kid.  I was reading these hateful words and really wondering how people could be so mean to and about someone they never met.  My heart broke for my friend so I messaged her as soon as I finished my comment to let her know I had her back.

So here is a very nice woman trying to take care of her family and get money for rent the only way she can.  And what do people do???  bash her and make her cry.  After this she has now decided she doesn’t want to help anyone else out unless she knows them.  She has taken down her posts and has decided that she won’t sell any of the items at all.  Where does this leave her…  Thank you to the FB bullies what messages are they teaching their kids.  Are their kids as mean and nasty as they are?  How can people be so cruel?

ARRG!!!!!   MEAN PEOPLE SUCK!!!

Good Bye 2013 HELLO 2014

Here is to hoping 2014 is MUCH better than 2013!! May business grow and make money so we can get to move to the 585 SOONER than 2015!!! PS… To everyone I know, we will need a “street team” to help us promote in 2014.

I will say 2013 was a pretty good year. I reconnected with old friends and especially one of my oldest and dearest friends.  She has always been like a sister to me and it is nice to have her back in my life.  I also reconnected with someone who I meet through a mutual friend.  She is super nice and my son adores her.  It is amazing that we have known each other such a short time yet I feel like I can tell her anything and she wont judge me.  I can’t express how much her friendship has meant over the last week.  She has listened to me while I cried on her shoulder about things that left my heart extremely broken.

Thank you to all my friends and family who supported (and continue to support) me during some of the darkest days I have lived in a long, long time and keep encouraging me to not sweat the small things. (The Serenity Prayer is not just for recovering people) It has been a grand journey so far, may we all have many years to come.

My son has learned his numbers up to 20, knows his colors, shapes, vehicles, animals, alphabet and he has started to walk and talk. What a BIG year!! He will be 2 in one month and we just started working on the 3 yr old activity books, music lessons and art class into our weekly routine (getting into a good learning routine).  Thank you to my friends who are homeschooling for guiding me in the right direction.  I am so excited to start homeschooling our little guy.

My version of the Serenity Prayer

Grand universe grant me the serenity
to accept the things and situations I cannot change;
courage to change the things and situations I can;
and wisdom to know the difference between the two.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying every moment;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace and understanding;
Taking this sinful world as it is and 
not as I would like to have it;
Trusting that all things will be made right
if I surrender to the universe;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with the universe around me

Amen.

(original version by–Reinhold Niebuhr)

 

My Only Christmas Wish

Star light
Star bright
First star I see tonight
I wish I may
I wish I might
Have the wish I wish tonight

I have only ONE Christmas Wish
I keep a twinkle of hope alive
Until there are no more gifts to unwrap
Until there are no more calls to make
Until there is no more time left in Christmas Day
But I doubt it will come true

It has been nine long months
Since they last played and
Since the sound of their laughter
filled the air

I have but only ONE Christmas wish
It is not for me per-say
It is for my son
For him to have the joy of playing with his sweet dear cousin
Because nine months is forever and a day

~~~~~~~~~~~

(c) Dawn Leoni 12/23/13
~ For My Dearest Son, Merry Christmas…

Christmas is a Time for Giving

Well I am wore out and I still have 2 days of running around to do. I have driven around and picked up a lot of items people wanted to gift to families in need for this christmas season. I was inspired by a dear friend of mine and a post she put on one of our Facebook boards. We put others before ourselves and I am sure that is what makes us such good friends. It has been a very long time since I have had a close friend like this.

When I saw her post I noticed people had said that they had stuff but she doesn’t have a car to pick stuff up.  We happened to be getting stuff from the same person and I asked if she was giving stuff to my friend and told her I would pick it up at the same time.  At that moment I knew what would really mean a lot, pick up the items people were offering and then taking them to families in need.  Some I wrapped so the families wouldn’t have to try to do that as well and other requested no wrapping so they could do that.  Turns out there are more people who need at least one present to put under their tree than I ever thought there was.  My heart breaks because I know first hand how hard it is and the struggle of being a single family income.  But, in the end it fills my heart with great joy to know that I can help put a smile on a little child’s face just by taking a little of my time to pick up and drop off some things.

Christmas is a time of year when we should think of others not ourselves.  Give to others to see their joy and never expect anything back in return. Plus it is more fun to give than to get.  2 more days of pick ups and drop offs.  YAWN  This girl needs some sleep.

 

What is Happening to this Country?

I hear reports ever day it seems as to how a teenager has disappeared.  Why is it that so many kids from 13- 16 years old seem to be vanishing?  Is there a predator out there taking them and selling them?  Are they getting mixed up with mysterious “online” dating?  Are they hooking up with strangers, fall in “love” and then run away?

The most alarming things I keep hearing about is all the toddlers that are being snatched.  First of all why would anyone let a toddler play without supervision in the front yard?  That is just asking for a disaster.  Oh man, I would never let our little one play outside alone this young.  Heck, who knows what age is “ok” these days.  What happened to the days when I was a young kid and could not only play outside alone but could ride my bike around the neighborhood alone and go out and play as long as I was back in time for dinner or before dark which ever came first?  There are so many more things to worry about with our young children these days.

Sometimes I think if our little guy could be locked up and kept on a leash to keep him safe I would in a heartbeat if I thought it wouldn’t traumatized him.  But we can’t do that to our kids, if we did they would grow up missing the most fundamental aspects of growing up…  Time away from Mom and Dad to do what they want and to explore new things.

My heart goes out to all parents and families who have lost a child.  For the children who are missing, I hope most of them can be found and brought home.

 

Getting Close to the Time of Year We Verbally Give Thanks…

I love all the people who have really stuck by my side no matter what and for that each moment I am very thankful to have each of you in my life, you are my family.

Some of you I haven’t met in person and you have still been there for me when I needed a sounding board.
Some of you I have known practically my whole life and others for a short while.
No matter where you are in the world, near or far, you are in my heart, thoughts and prayers each moment of every day.
You are the ones who give me strength to be who I am no matter what the obstacles.
You are the ones who stand beside me and hold my hand when times get rough.
You are the ones that against all odds will be there for me as steady as a rock.
Some of you will lose contact with me yet even then you will still be in my heart like family.
Some of you will reconnect with me after years apart and a piece of my heart will heal.
Some of you will be lost forever and for that, my heart grieves for you and the loss with each moment that passes you will be missed.
This is the time of year when I verbally say “Thank You Friends, for being my Family.”

To those who have strayed from our bond
Know the door is always open,
The phone line is always clear,
Social media is accessible.
You are never out of my heart, thoughts and well wishes.
Always remember, you are loved for who you are not by the actions you take.
You are family, no matter what drifts people apart, family is forever.

❤  Many blessings to be shared with those near and far, from the depths of my heart “I Thank You”.  ❤

Having a PPD Moment … Getting Personal… Family, Heartbreak and Hope…

** DISCLAIMER **  I wrote this on Nov 15th and made it a private post.  It is a very emotional post and I wasn’t going to post it but, after talking to some of the women in my PPD group I have decided to make it public.  I am not the only one going through these emotions even though situations may be different the raw emotion expressed here is me to the core.  I will not apologize for my feelings as they are a part of who I am.  This post was written to help me heal a wound that had occurred as a result of events unknown to me, we are the ones who are living with and feeling the effects of someone else’s decisions that I can not control.  The person who looses the most is my son.   My follow-up post is GETTING CLOSE TO THE TIME OF YEAR WE VERBALLY GIVE THANKS…  where I thank everyone who is close in my heart.  **
As we get closer to making the big move.  I am laying out the cost and looking for places to live.  I like the idea of finding a nice townhouse to rent to start with and then we can take the time to find a nice house in my old school district.  And it looks like we should be able to make our move in about 18 months give or take a couple of months.  And as I think about moving I am excited to be closer to family and friends some, who I have known since I was a wee little girl.  This isn’t a case of “the grass is greener” but of “this grass just ain’t gettin’ greener.”  :/

We now live in a small(very small, the size of a town) city with a handful of my SO’s family around.  They aren’t as close-knit as my family is even with all the miles between us.  It makes me sad to be so close to family and not get to see them in so long.  I know everyone is busy with work and nuclear family time but my son has a cousin 6 weeks older than him who he hasn’t seen since Easter.  And that breaks my heart.  I always extend invites and many times never receive a reply.  My mind knows it isn’t anything personal, but my heart feels otherwise.  Oh well…  I keep the hope that we will see everyone before we move to NY but as time passes my heart grows weary and sad.

When I think about it I get so sad and then I think about how some people might think I have it easy being a stay home mom who gets to play with her child all day.  Let me say…  it is hard to find activities to entertain and educate our little guy all day, EVERY day, 7 days a week.  Some days I would love to have a child care provider I could drop him off at and then pick him up, even if just for 2 hours.  I love my son with all my heart and would do anything for him and anything to protect him but sometimes mommy needs a break too.  Yes, it is fun to watch his mind work every moment and yes it is nice to be able to do things with him.  Am I lucky??  Some days I really question if I am and I think that a family with 2 working parents have it easy being able to drop their child/children off to someone so they can have the daunting task of entertaining a toddler.  Usually those days are accompanied with the major meltdowns or tantrums from being frustrated.

Add in that I am not just a Stay At Home Mom(SAHM) but I am trying to launch a company using nap times as work times, staying up late working on various products, making tutorials, doing research and setting up a webstore.  My SO works 11.5 hours a day 5-6 days a week and when he gets home he has about 1.5 hours with our son before it is bedtime.  I am up until about 11pm almost every night working on business stuff that I can’t get done during the day.  The little guy wakes around 5 am but never after 6:15am.  In our house 6:15 is sleeping in.  So there’s not much time for sleep.

A little more than 2 months ago my SO had to be rushed to the hospital with chest pains.  I was scared out of my mind, I had no one I could really talk to other than his Mom, who is wonderful and I love her dearly, but she was only here in town for vacation.  We were very lucky it wasn’t his heart but it really put life into perspective for us.  We made the decision to move to NY so I could be closer to a tight-knit support group of family and friends.  It will be nice to be closer to the friends and family I left when I moved to Fl 15 years ago.  I miss my parents, my siblings (even though 1/2 are not in the area anymore), my friends who have stayed by my side even though we have had over 1000 miles between us, and all my nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles and cousins…  I look forward to all the play dates, family get togethers, “mommy” time, and having a network of fabulous people who I can call and say “hey, I am stressed out, can you help me out” and know that they will be there as soon as they can to lend a hand.

I will miss our family we have here in MA, of course, but with everyone working such crazy hours there aren’t enough hours in a day to squeeze in anyone but the nuclear family.  I have gotten really close with Sean’s Aunt and love spending time with her.  I will miss her tons and will have to teach her how to Skype.  I was asked today “How great is it that your little one has a cousin to play with who is the same age?”  I replied, “I don’t know, we haven’t seen them since a few days after Easter.”  The person responded “That is so sad, hope you see them soon.”  In that moment I felt my heart sink wondering if we will see them before we move.  I try to keep it all in and not let the emotions out but some days it is harder than others to mask my sadness, and today is one of those days.  Today I have thought about how much I miss all our family and friends near and far.  Some days I feel so isolated because I am a SAHM and feel as I and our family is not worthy of other’s time, like I am not good enough…  I work my butt off all day everyday to not only raise our son but to build a business of our own.

That is all the jumbled rant I have today.  I am sure getting this out and a good night sleep will do wonders to lift up my spirits.  In just over 6 hours I will have to smile and giggle my way through the day, “fake it till ya make it” philosophy.