Breastfeeding Feelings – self weaning… baby weaning… Emotional times…

It has been a long breastfeeding journey.  I have gone through herbal treatment after herbal treatment.  I have a nice regimen of herbal teas and supplements.  I had gotten so I was able to pump about 8oz of milk a day (pumping 3-5 times a day) but the last few days I have only gotten about 5 oz a day in 3 pumping sessions.  I don’t know if it is hormones adjusting but it makes me sad to know that my herbal regimen might be starting to fail and my body is building a tolerance to them.

I am sad to think that my milk producing days are coming to an end.  Robert has been much more independent the last few days and not asking to nurse.  I know 16 months is a good run to breastfeed but my heart breaks thinking that this is the first time, and not the last, that I feel my little guy doesn’t need me as much.  I know he needs me in new ways but it is still an adjustment.

Then I wonder is this going to be the feeling I have for all major milestones?  I miss the days of cuddling him and watching his little face go from hungry to content to full and blissfully in a milk coma.  It is the most peaceful look I have ever seen.  Now I have to sneak into his room while he sleeps to catch a glimpse of that peaceful look.

My little boy and my body are in sync no matter how much I try to pump…  ::BIG SIGH::