Question of the Day: Baby Bully – a Follow-up

A quick post before I head to bed…

I decided to stay home tonight instead of going out with the Moms from the Mom’s group I am part of just to see if it was a fluke.  I let Robert play as normal while I got dinner ready.  No pounding tonight at all.  I thought I heard some banging at one point but it wasn’t anything that was disruptive.  It has been a nice peaceful night.  I hope it stays this way and I don’t have to talk to the landlord.  I hate being a tattle-tale but when it comes to my little boy and his well-being I will stop at nothing to make sure he is happy and healthy.  A mother’s Love knows no bounds.

I want to thank the Mom’s in my mom’s group who gave me feedback and suggestions.  I really like the “kill him with kindness” suggestion of buying a small gift card so he can go have something to eat on us.


Question of the Day: Baby Bully Neighbor – How do you address the issue without “tattling” to the landlord?

For those of you who are new to the blog please check out my post “Question of the Day:  When does an unruly neighbor cross the line to Baby Bullying?”  Reading that post first you will get an idea of the level of insanity we are dealing with.


So, the evening started fine.  Got Robert fed and put to bed before I headed out to my Mary Kay training.  I heard the little guy cry as I left the house and Sean went in to his room and got him.  When I got home I asked his daddy how the night went and this is what he told me happened.

Robert was playing with his blocks and walking around his toy chest fighting sleep.  The guy down stairs started pounding.  When daddy saw that the little guy was sleepy and ready to pass out he put him in his crib and he fell asleep almost instantly.  Then the guy started to pound again and so loud that it woke up the baby.  WTF…  So Sean had to calm the overtired baby again.  I don’t go out much so daddy is new to the overtired baby crying and he was awesome.  Robert was sound a sleep when I got home and the pounding was faint more like a banging by the time I started blogging this.

All I know is I am VERY protective of my baby and he better be glad I wasn’t home for his bullying of my baby because I would have marched downstairs with a crying baby and me in tears and laid the guilt trip on THICK.  Heaven help him if the guilt trip ever stops working.  I don’t know what I would do if I felt threatened.  All I know is my Irish Italian temper would not be pretty when mixed with protective mama bear instincts.

Sean ignored the pounding and resisted the urge to go down and be protective papa bear.  (I am so proud of his self-control)  I wanted to go bang on his door the moment Sean told me what happened tonight while I was out.  But instead I am venting my anger here because I really don’t know what to do.  it was one thing for him to pound when the baby was playing and barreling across the floor (still unacceptable) but when the baby is asleep and he pounds waking him up should be a crime.  I should mention the baby finally went to sleep at 8pm.

How would you handle this?  Because that guys actions tonight make me very concerned about Sean and I leaving at the same time and having a baby sitter here.  If we have a baby sitter here what should I tell them to do?  Should I tell them it is ok to call the cops?  What do you do about someone who bullies a 15 month old baby?

Question of the Day: When does an unruly neighbor cross the line to Baby Bullying?

When does a neighbor become more of a baby bully than unruly?  How do/would you deal with a baby bully?  Might seem like an odd questions but here is what happened to us and how I dealt with it in a sleep deprived state.

My Answer

We live in a large Victorian house on the top floor.  We are quiet for the most part with normal baby noise.  A little background as to what I was dealing with up here.  Our little guy had been teething with 4 molars and 2 more bottom teeth, 6 at one time wasn’t fun plus, after a visit to the ER a double ear infection.

Every time the baby crawls the guy down stairs pounds on the wall.  He can’t pound on the ceiling because each apartment has drop down ceilings with insulation between it and the “real” ceiling.  After a couple of days of him pounding and it registering that it was because of the baby I went down and asked him if the baby’s crawling was bothering him.  He said “don’t pay attention to me, I think I am going crazy.  I’ll come up if it is really bothering me.”  I went back up stairs and the pounding seemed to stop for a couple of days and then it returned.

Every time our little guy would crawl he would bang.  If a toy was dropped or the little guy fell over trying to stand, he would bang on his walls.  After that I started not letting him out of his bed room when he got up until he went down for his nap.  When he got up I would let him play in the living room for until lunch and his afternoon nap.  After his afternoon nap I would have him in his room and a little bit of time in the living room before dinner and bed.  The night we had to take the little guy to the ER was the beginning of the last straw.  I put the little guy down long enough to put the diaper bag together and the pounding began.  Our little guy was beginning to think it was a game so the more the guy down stairs pounded our little one would raise his feet or hands and smash them down in response so this process would repeat.  When we got home from the ER I tried to get a little sleep but our little one wasn’t sleeping more that 1-1.5 hours at a time.  I was exhausted.  Over the weekend his daddy was home from work and the pounding was getting under his skin and he said something to me and I responded “What do you want me to do about it?  Go downstairs and say something to him?”  I was livid, I didn’t even let Sean answer and I was out the door, stomped down stairs paced back and forth to calm myself down before I knocked on his door nicely.  I was all ready to be sweet and ask him about the baby’s crawling again but he didn’t answer the door, he didn’t even respond to my knock.  So, up stairs I went and we didn’t hear another peep from him all night.  We decided that night that we were going to buy an area rug and padding to go over that part of the floor.  The next day was mostly quiet down stairs with little pounding here and there but the day after that is when I couldn’t take it any more.

The little guy had not been sleeping more than 2 hours at a time and it would take an hour to get him back to sleep.  That means I wasn’t sleeping and I was a bundle of emotions.  I had the little one in his room all day until after his last nap I put him in his high chair to eat lunch took him out put him on the floor long enough for me to wipe down his tray.  We are talking maybe 2 minutes max.  and the guy started pounding.  So I scooped the baby up, took him down stairs and knocked on the guys door.  This time I told him “I have been keeping the baby trapped in his high chair and cooped up in his room which is making him not nap or sleep well.  We spent money we didn’t have to spend on a rug and padding to make it better for you and if that doesn’t work I don’t know what else to do.”  By that point I was in tears.  His response was “I didn’t mean to make you feel bad, don’t worry about me.  let the little guy crawl around I won’t say another word or yell anymore.”  I was thinking “yelling, I never heard yelling”.  I said thank you and was on our way back upstairs.  from that moment on we heard no more pounding other than his normal random pounding that is not baby related.

I consider him a borderline baby bully.