Cyber Bullying of a Mourning Mother via Facebook

 

I was saddened to hear that cyber bullying is occurring on Facebook when they claim to be tough on it.  Don’t believe the claims, Facebook protects the cowardly bullies under their privacy terms.

This case is so close to home that I don’t know where to even begin.  First here are some basics.  My friend was about 23-24 weeks pregnant when it was determined that there wasn’t a fetal heartbeat.  She had to go through labor and delivery of her stillborn daughter.  This act alone for a mother is the hardest most devastating moment of their lives.  She was blessed to have had the precious moments with her angel baby where she could hold her in her arms, look at her tiny hands and feet, and say goodbye.

With that she shared openly her loss.  Her friends were by her side offering support.  She posted pictures of her beautiful baby girl.  Julianna Skye, was a baby who wasn’t strong enough to take a breath in our world but instead crossed over to be an angel for her mommy and big sister.  Her spirit lives on for them in the few pictures that my friend was able to take of her and her precious baby in those short moments they had together before she had to hand Julianna to a nurse to be taken away.

Shortly after she posted the photos of her daughter someone had marked one of the photos as abusive and she was notified.  She was so upset and a bunch of us commented about this spineless person and how horrible it was of them to do this to a mother who just lost her baby.  She went offline for a few weeks and came back creating a new profile that was private and just for people who were friends.  On December 26, 2014, Julianna’s due date, my friend and her daughter did a balloon release at her grave site.  She was having the lowest moment of her day posted her pictures and opened up to us, the ones she thought were her friends.  Someone in the group submitted the picture of her daughter as “graphic violence” to the Facebook admin.  She tried to contact Facebook in regards to her photos and what she went through and all she was cold in a cold email is that they wouldn’t tell her who was reporting them.  If she knew who was reporting them she could have blocked them from her page.

Some people may not see reporting 2 images as bullying but the face that my friend created a new profile and it happened again means it was someone who knew her and it was a deliberate stab when she was most vulnerable.  Facebook’s privacy BS but when it is used to protect a coward who is getting off on tormenting a grieving mother they should really step up and help that mother not add to her pain and suffering.  I asked my friend if I could post the picture of her little girl because to me she looks like a sleeping angel in a praying position.  Not one thing about this photo is violent or graphic.  Julianna is swaddled like any other newborn after birth with a cap and blanket wrapped to look like an outfit.

Rest in Peace beautiful angel baby, Julianna Skye.

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Some People Suck!!

My mind is still spinning about something that happened today.  A dear friend of mine always puts other people first.  She has nothing, and when I say nothing I mean her unemployment was cut off when she was owed about 7 weeks past due pay, Her husband has been out of work thanks to the holidays and his clients going on vacations, they don’t even have money for their rent.  Their Christmas celebration was happy because of the generosity of others.  Today I was scoping out some of the Facebook boards I am on to see if there was anything else I “needed”.  I noticed my friend had some things posted for sale and then some guy she doesn’t even know and I have never seen active in the group before replies with the nastiest comment accusing her of asking for Christmas Donation gifts and then re-selling them.

ARE YOU EFF’N KIDDING ME BUDDY!!! (check out: “Christmas is a Time for Giving“)

Well, I don’t tolerate people talking crap about others and god forbid you do it about one of my friends but when you tell a blatant lie that I happen to be associated with WATCH OUT!!!  I think being a full-time Mommy has kicked the Mama Bear Instinct into over drive.  I set him straight on that real quick and tagged the moderators of the group in my comment so nothing could be twisted about me or my post.  I must pat myself on the back because I was direct about it but I was pretty nice too.

After I had that posted up I read through some of the other comments after his on her post and I can’t believe how absolutely terrible people can be.  It was like watching a bunch of middle school punks bullying another kid.  I was reading these hateful words and really wondering how people could be so mean to and about someone they never met.  My heart broke for my friend so I messaged her as soon as I finished my comment to let her know I had her back.

So here is a very nice woman trying to take care of her family and get money for rent the only way she can.  And what do people do???  bash her and make her cry.  After this she has now decided she doesn’t want to help anyone else out unless she knows them.  She has taken down her posts and has decided that she won’t sell any of the items at all.  Where does this leave her…  Thank you to the FB bullies what messages are they teaching their kids.  Are their kids as mean and nasty as they are?  How can people be so cruel?

ARRG!!!!!   MEAN PEOPLE SUCK!!!

Christmas is a Time for Giving

Well I am wore out and I still have 2 days of running around to do. I have driven around and picked up a lot of items people wanted to gift to families in need for this christmas season. I was inspired by a dear friend of mine and a post she put on one of our Facebook boards. We put others before ourselves and I am sure that is what makes us such good friends. It has been a very long time since I have had a close friend like this.

When I saw her post I noticed people had said that they had stuff but she doesn’t have a car to pick stuff up.  We happened to be getting stuff from the same person and I asked if she was giving stuff to my friend and told her I would pick it up at the same time.  At that moment I knew what would really mean a lot, pick up the items people were offering and then taking them to families in need.  Some I wrapped so the families wouldn’t have to try to do that as well and other requested no wrapping so they could do that.  Turns out there are more people who need at least one present to put under their tree than I ever thought there was.  My heart breaks because I know first hand how hard it is and the struggle of being a single family income.  But, in the end it fills my heart with great joy to know that I can help put a smile on a little child’s face just by taking a little of my time to pick up and drop off some things.

Christmas is a time of year when we should think of others not ourselves.  Give to others to see their joy and never expect anything back in return. Plus it is more fun to give than to get.  2 more days of pick ups and drop offs.  YAWN  This girl needs some sleep.

 

Getting Close to the Time of Year We Verbally Give Thanks…

I love all the people who have really stuck by my side no matter what and for that each moment I am very thankful to have each of you in my life, you are my family.

Some of you I haven’t met in person and you have still been there for me when I needed a sounding board.
Some of you I have known practically my whole life and others for a short while.
No matter where you are in the world, near or far, you are in my heart, thoughts and prayers each moment of every day.
You are the ones who give me strength to be who I am no matter what the obstacles.
You are the ones who stand beside me and hold my hand when times get rough.
You are the ones that against all odds will be there for me as steady as a rock.
Some of you will lose contact with me yet even then you will still be in my heart like family.
Some of you will reconnect with me after years apart and a piece of my heart will heal.
Some of you will be lost forever and for that, my heart grieves for you and the loss with each moment that passes you will be missed.
This is the time of year when I verbally say “Thank You Friends, for being my Family.”

To those who have strayed from our bond
Know the door is always open,
The phone line is always clear,
Social media is accessible.
You are never out of my heart, thoughts and well wishes.
Always remember, you are loved for who you are not by the actions you take.
You are family, no matter what drifts people apart, family is forever.

❤  Many blessings to be shared with those near and far, from the depths of my heart “I Thank You”.  ❤

Having a PPD Moment … Getting Personal… Family, Heartbreak and Hope…

** DISCLAIMER **  I wrote this on Nov 15th and made it a private post.  It is a very emotional post and I wasn’t going to post it but, after talking to some of the women in my PPD group I have decided to make it public.  I am not the only one going through these emotions even though situations may be different the raw emotion expressed here is me to the core.  I will not apologize for my feelings as they are a part of who I am.  This post was written to help me heal a wound that had occurred as a result of events unknown to me, we are the ones who are living with and feeling the effects of someone else’s decisions that I can not control.  The person who looses the most is my son.   My follow-up post is GETTING CLOSE TO THE TIME OF YEAR WE VERBALLY GIVE THANKS…  where I thank everyone who is close in my heart.  **
As we get closer to making the big move.  I am laying out the cost and looking for places to live.  I like the idea of finding a nice townhouse to rent to start with and then we can take the time to find a nice house in my old school district.  And it looks like we should be able to make our move in about 18 months give or take a couple of months.  And as I think about moving I am excited to be closer to family and friends some, who I have known since I was a wee little girl.  This isn’t a case of “the grass is greener” but of “this grass just ain’t gettin’ greener.”  :/

We now live in a small(very small, the size of a town) city with a handful of my SO’s family around.  They aren’t as close-knit as my family is even with all the miles between us.  It makes me sad to be so close to family and not get to see them in so long.  I know everyone is busy with work and nuclear family time but my son has a cousin 6 weeks older than him who he hasn’t seen since Easter.  And that breaks my heart.  I always extend invites and many times never receive a reply.  My mind knows it isn’t anything personal, but my heart feels otherwise.  Oh well…  I keep the hope that we will see everyone before we move to NY but as time passes my heart grows weary and sad.

When I think about it I get so sad and then I think about how some people might think I have it easy being a stay home mom who gets to play with her child all day.  Let me say…  it is hard to find activities to entertain and educate our little guy all day, EVERY day, 7 days a week.  Some days I would love to have a child care provider I could drop him off at and then pick him up, even if just for 2 hours.  I love my son with all my heart and would do anything for him and anything to protect him but sometimes mommy needs a break too.  Yes, it is fun to watch his mind work every moment and yes it is nice to be able to do things with him.  Am I lucky??  Some days I really question if I am and I think that a family with 2 working parents have it easy being able to drop their child/children off to someone so they can have the daunting task of entertaining a toddler.  Usually those days are accompanied with the major meltdowns or tantrums from being frustrated.

Add in that I am not just a Stay At Home Mom(SAHM) but I am trying to launch a company using nap times as work times, staying up late working on various products, making tutorials, doing research and setting up a webstore.  My SO works 11.5 hours a day 5-6 days a week and when he gets home he has about 1.5 hours with our son before it is bedtime.  I am up until about 11pm almost every night working on business stuff that I can’t get done during the day.  The little guy wakes around 5 am but never after 6:15am.  In our house 6:15 is sleeping in.  So there’s not much time for sleep.

A little more than 2 months ago my SO had to be rushed to the hospital with chest pains.  I was scared out of my mind, I had no one I could really talk to other than his Mom, who is wonderful and I love her dearly, but she was only here in town for vacation.  We were very lucky it wasn’t his heart but it really put life into perspective for us.  We made the decision to move to NY so I could be closer to a tight-knit support group of family and friends.  It will be nice to be closer to the friends and family I left when I moved to Fl 15 years ago.  I miss my parents, my siblings (even though 1/2 are not in the area anymore), my friends who have stayed by my side even though we have had over 1000 miles between us, and all my nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles and cousins…  I look forward to all the play dates, family get togethers, “mommy” time, and having a network of fabulous people who I can call and say “hey, I am stressed out, can you help me out” and know that they will be there as soon as they can to lend a hand.

I will miss our family we have here in MA, of course, but with everyone working such crazy hours there aren’t enough hours in a day to squeeze in anyone but the nuclear family.  I have gotten really close with Sean’s Aunt and love spending time with her.  I will miss her tons and will have to teach her how to Skype.  I was asked today “How great is it that your little one has a cousin to play with who is the same age?”  I replied, “I don’t know, we haven’t seen them since a few days after Easter.”  The person responded “That is so sad, hope you see them soon.”  In that moment I felt my heart sink wondering if we will see them before we move.  I try to keep it all in and not let the emotions out but some days it is harder than others to mask my sadness, and today is one of those days.  Today I have thought about how much I miss all our family and friends near and far.  Some days I feel so isolated because I am a SAHM and feel as I and our family is not worthy of other’s time, like I am not good enough…  I work my butt off all day everyday to not only raise our son but to build a business of our own.

That is all the jumbled rant I have today.  I am sure getting this out and a good night sleep will do wonders to lift up my spirits.  In just over 6 hours I will have to smile and giggle my way through the day, “fake it till ya make it” philosophy.

 

Road Trip Success

I had the car loaded and ready to go for our departure first thing in the morning.  I had all kinds of good stuff for us to listen to from Marbles’ Brain Beats, Katy Perry, Disney nursery rhymes, VNV Nation, Wumpscut, Dimmu Borgir, jewel’s lullabies and a bi-lingual toddler book on tape.  I learned real quick he was on with the nursery rhymes cd once by round 2 he was ready for something new.  He would sing along to just about everything.  As for activities for him to do I didn’t leave anything out.  I had everything packed from a new stuffed crab to give him if he got “crabby” to a few of his favorite toys.  I had the iPad loaded with a couple of Disney short films and Thomas the Train story collection, or so I thought.  We were about 2 hours away from our destination and we stopped at a rest area so I could pop in the video.  OH BOY was I surprised when I went to pull up Thomas and it said “Unable to load video”.  WHAT, But I tested it and it played fine at the house???  Apparently it didn’t finish downloading completely.  grrrrr  So here I was 2 hours away and my plan was derailed.  But not to fret because within about 20 minutes he fell asleep again and was out for about 40 more minutes.

He didn’t even need the movie he had his favorite monkey, his sippy cup, his cup of goldfish, and his Leap Frog “Scout” dog and he was perfectly happy the entire trip.  Only a couple of times he didn’t want to get in the car but it was nothing once I got him in and handed him Mr Monkey he was fine.  I have been blessed with a very good traveler.  Thankfully Daddy will arrive before we have to travel back home and he will ride back with us.

The next solo trip is a 24 hour trip down the coast to Florida to see the grandparents in the wintertime.  That will be the next adventure.

 

Solo with 18 month old Road Trip Prep

I am preparing for a solo 10 hour road trip with my 18 month old son.  Yup, you read the correctly.  Just me and a toddler for 10 hours in a car.

Here is what I have done so far:

Snacks:

  • pouches for fruits/veggies
  • goldfish
  • crackers
  • PBJ sandwiches

Entertainment:

Random:

  • extra diapers & wipes

I know I have to be missing something… Any suggestions for me so I keep up my sanity?  HAHA

I will blog as we take our journey which starts on Wednesday morning bright and early.

My New Adventure as a Mystery Shopper

I watched an episode on the Katie Show about a month ago about how a girl paid for her student loans by doing mystery shopping.  So I thought there had to be a catch, right?  So I did a little research and found MSPA North America.  I have never enjoyed something so much.  My first few shops were perfect.  I was beginning to wonder if I wasn’t going to have a “bad shop”.  Maybe I was too lenient.  Then it happened, I had my first bad shop and to top it off it was the store manager of the place I had to rate poorly.  Overall it has been so much fun.  I joined an agency where I shop places of entertainment and Robert and I get to enjoy fun things while I make money doing something we would do anyway.  Another nice thing about doing these is I can do them when I travel too.  I am loving it but i need to find a way to balance everything in my life.  That is the tricky part.

There are easy shops that can be done from home that are only a quick phone call or a web evaluation.  The ones from the house pay between $4.00 – $6.00 for 5 minutes of my time.  Most of the surveys are quick.  I have learned that the shops that pay the most generally have the longest and most detailed surveys with a bunch of narratives.  I did a big one that required a 7 hour evaluation and the survey took about 6 hours to complete the pay was about $115 for my time and 4 free tickets to return in the future.  That is awesome because now we have 2 free family trips there.  AMAZING.  Most of the shops break down to about $0.50 per minute (or $30.00/hour).  Not a bad way to bring in a little extra cash.

If you’re interested in doing mystery shopping in your area:

Vine Video – Dinnertime Fun

I do find it annoying that I can’t actually embed the video without paying wordpress a fee of $60.00 per year.  Why do I have to pay that when the video isn’t even being stored in their system?

Grrrr  ok enough of my rant.  For Vine Videos I will simply include the link for them to to be viewed through Vine and a small synopsis.

Vine Video – Dinnertime Fun

Robert was being a ham so I grabbed the iPad and made a 6 second Vine Video.

Review: My First Crayola Mess Free Marker & Paper

Overall Rating: ★★★

Durability: ★★★✩✩

Fun to use: ★★★★✩

Value:  ★★★

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Robert’s 1st Masterpiece

I got Robert the My First Crayola Mess Free Marker & Paper.  It is a cute little cow marker that he can put in his palm of his hand.  He was able to manipulate it across the page with ease.  I was a little disappointed with the lack of durability of the product.  He is 16 months old and at the smashing stage and even after working with him to be gentile he liked the spots the marker made when smashed.   When he smashed it the tip went up into the cow and now only a small tip remains.  The fact that the marker will only mark on special paper is wonderful.  Our biggest issue when we go out to eat is that Robert likes to try to color on the table with crayons.  The Mess Free Marker and Paper fits in his diaper bag and helps distract him while we wait.  he has fun and we don’t have to try to remove crayon marks before leaving.  Because the tip is smashed in so easily I give the value only 3 stars as it will need to be replaced sooner than it dying a slow marker death.

Crayola offers free Coloring Pages that can be printed on a home printer.