Breastfeeding Wednesday – A Question from a Dad

Today’s letter comes from Ron.  It is nice to see a dad writing in.

Dear Dawn,
My wife is breastfeeding our first born and I feel left out.  Not just from the baby’s life but from my wife’s life as well.  Is there anything I can do to be more involved or feel more involved?
TVM,
Ron

Dear Ron,

Thank you for your question.  There are a few ways to feel more involved.  I would nurse everywhere in the house.  Sometimes my fiancee would be sitting next to me and we would hang out.  When my milk supply started to drop he helped by helping me relax.  He helped massage my breasts gently.  It wasn’t a sexual thing but it helped him still have contact and helped my milk let down.  I would also pump a lot of milk and he would give our son bottles from time to time.  There were times I would be nursing in bed and he would gently massage our sons head.  It was tender and sweet.  I am amazed at how much just those little things meant to me.  One of the nicest things he would do was get our son if he was crying and bring him to me.  It was something small but sometimes those little actions mean more than flowers or gifts.

As for the sexual aspect.  I always laughed and said I didn’t understand why parents have less sex.  Why should having a baby hinder sex.  WOW, was I in for a shock.  LOL  It is amazing how priorities shift and being intimate shifts to cuddle time and relaxing together.  We are both so tired at the end of the night during the week that we pass out  before our sex drives kick in.  I will give you some hope, intimate time gets much easier  once the baby sleeps through the night.

Baby/Toddler Firsts of 2013

I am a couple of weeks behind on our “2013 milestones” but, here we go.  I am sure I have missed some milestones, but here are some big ones I can rattle off the top of my head.

Breastfed until 16.5 months, I would have gone longer but my body failed us. (bad boobies!!)

First “real” 2 word phrase – “bay kiki” (Bad Kitty)

First set of molars – January 2013 caused a trip to the ER and resulted in a double ear infection.

First “Big Boy” food- Spinach Feta Pie

First steps – Mid-June 2013 (17.5 mo old)

Recognize all Letters and point to them – 20 months old

First Letter learned and mastered – “E” 19 months old

Recognize numbers 1 – 20 and point to them – 20 months old

Recognize animals and point to them – 16 months old

By the end of 2013 he could say some animals, shapes, colors, about 50% of the alphabet, and numbers 1-10.  He can’t do them in order yet but we are working on that.

As of January 15, 2014 when asked “How old are you going to be?” or “how old are you?” he can reply “Two” and attempts to hold up 2 fingers.

Question of the Day: Should Children be Banned from High End Restaurants?

This post is spawned for an article from NBC Chef Grant Achatz starts Twitter debate: Should babies be banned from high-end restaurants? by Tracy Saelinger (TODAY contributor).

I don’t think they should ban babies, it is up to the parents to be respectful of others who are dining. If the baby should get agitated or upset and cry, take a breather and walk with the baby. At 8 mo my son was still Breastfeeding so a quick boob fix was all he would need to nod back off again or at least relax and be in mommy milk trance for a while. With that said, my almost 2-year-old doesn’t understand “inside” voice yet. Personally, I would never dream of bringing him to a 3 hour, 18 course meal that cost over $200 per plate and you have to wait for weeks or months for a table.

If you can afford a restaurant that expensive then you probably have a full-time live in nanny that the kids can stay with. Or at least a full-time nanny/babysitter you can ask to stay late and pay them an overtime bonus. Do babysitters cancel, sure they do but then be the respectful parent and walk out when your baby starts to cry. If you are like most Americans and you can’t “normally” afford the restaurant then it is a “special” date night and you should enjoy your spouse/significant other/whoever you are with without babies and children.

We have not had a date night since R was born. We did attempt it once when the little guy was 5 months old but we were called back before our dinner was served. We take him everywhere, he has even been to an Irish Pub!! Of course it was for a late lunch, but he had a good time sitting at the table like a big boy, no high chairs there. He is a good baby/toddler and on the rare occasion when he gets a little loud(or has a tantrum) I excuse myself and take him outside for a cool down walk. Most times people give the look of sympathy as I walk by with a mad toddler.

All in all, maybe not ban babies but if the parents don’t get off their asses and take the baby out of the restaurant then definitely have the waiter politely ask them to take the baby outside until it has calmed down and is no longer crying. It is the parents who need to be respectful of others.

Toddler Play Areas

Good Morning Blog readers!!  It is Monday morning and we are ready for another yoyo week of rain, snow, rain and more snow.  While mother nature has it in for us here in the wonderful state of Massachusetts with the temps bouncing between the 20’s and the 40’s we have a fun-filled week ahead.  Maybe I can witness my son doing something crazy again.  LOL

This past Saturday we  were at the local mall play area where I usually take him to play and burn some energy.  I love watching all the different children interact together.  It amazes me every time we go how many adults aren’t keeping an eye on the children they are there with.  They are playing with or talking on their phones.  In the meantime I have a toddler running around having a good time going through the tunnels and climbing into the cars and boats.  The thing that annoys me the most is when the unsupervised children are jumping off of one of the play fixtures.  It isn’t the jumping part as much as where they are jumping off.  They jump off over the tunnel holes.  I can’t count how many times I have had to either tell those kids to be careful there were toddlers and babies crawling through the tunnel.  I often wonder how much these kids get away with at home if they are so unruly and neglected in a public play area.  Sometimes I want to go up to the adults and ask them if they think it is ok for the child they are not watching to potentially jump on my baby, now toddler’s head.  I bite my tongue so far because when I ask the older kids to be careful they typically stop or at least look before jumping to make sure it is clear of littler kids.

The funniest thing I have seen my little guy do in the play area this weekend.  There was a little boy, maybe about 5 years old, starting to have a temper tantrum.  The little boy started to yell and scream with some tears because his adult told him it was time to leave.  So my little guy stops in his tracks while running around, looks at the little boy and yells at him with a growl like yell.  It really sounded like he was possessed by the demon in the exorcist.  Then my little one ran away squealing with delight.  The little boy stopped his tantrum like he was in shock, got down still sniffling, and went over to his adult to leave without a fight.  I have no idea what was said in that scary yell but it was enough to help calm the tantrum.  Now, if only I had a child to do that when my little guy is having a tantrum.  LOL

The Excitement of Moving

A few months ago we decided to move.  Our target time frame is about 16 months from now.  We decided to move to be closer to family and friends.  My fiancée had a scare in September.  After everything calmed down and he was home from the hospital we talked about the what if’s.  He would like us to be close to family and friends who could help me out if anything should happen.  Home is where ever we are together, but with the little guy in tow now our priorities have changed.

I spent today looking at various apartments and places for rent online.  Some I knew of but I found one that is a hidden gem.  Has everything we would ever want.  It is a townhouse with a full basement with washer and dryer hook ups, 1 full bath up stairs and a 1/2 bath on the 1st floor, HUGE kitchen and living room, but the best thing is the private fenced in small garden backyard.  The best part is that it cost the same as what we are paying for our 1 bedroom 1 bath we have now.

Now I am super excited!!  I am looking forward to visiting in the spring so I can check it out.  It will be so nice to be around my family and have Robert grow up with his cousins and my friends kids who are the same age.  I have started organizing our stuff and we have consolidated everything we can.  ♥

Letter to My Baby Boy

Dearest baby boy,

You are about to turn 2 and you amaze me every single day.  Things that I used to think were minor or small are somehow now huge.  I look at you with awe and wonder how I got so lucky to have you come into our lives.  You beat so many odds to be here with us.  My little miracle!!  I love you more and more every day.  At 23 months old you are able to recognize numbers up to 25, say numbers 1-10(not in order yet, but that is ok), point out your alphabet, find objects in your find and seek books, talk in 3 word sentences that sometimes only I understand and point to a handful of countries on the world map.  You know lots of colors, shapes and animals.  Sometimes I feel like I am not teaching you enough but then I remember you aren’t even 2 years old yet.

I love how when you do something wrong you say “OTOH”, run to me and give me a hug as if to say “don’t be mad mama, I’m sorry!”  I love how you cuddle with your “kitty”(snow leopard), blue monkey, and me on the couch even if it is for only 30 seconds.  I love how when you wake up and I come to your room you are smiling with “kitty” and blue monkey in your arms ready for me to get you out.  Getting you guys out is no joke and sometimes you want to add another animal to our “getting up adventure” OH BOY my arms are so full I don’t know where my little guy is.  I love how you fake cry so obviously and you even get those tears working.  But Mama and Daddy are on to that cry…

Happy almost 2 years baby boy, Mommy loves you!!!

HELLO CYBER MONDAY – I missed getting a sale up…

Well, today was a very eventful day.  I intended to get a good sale up, do some promotional stuff.  But our little guy was sick..  So very sick.  He threw up sometime last night and didn’t even cry out for me.  When I went to get him this morning I was shocked to see how much puke there was in his crib.  I immediately got him undressed and in the shower.  He was acting normal, happy and full of energy.  I got him his first shower of the day then went and cleaned up his crib and bedroom.  He was out in the living room with his daddy, followed him in the bathroom for something and projectile vomited everywhere.  OH BOY and this was the beginning to my fabulous day.  I tried calling the Dr but there was no answer so when I tried the on call service they told me the office was open.  I tried again and left a message on their voicemail.  After not getting an answer in 15 minutes and the little guy throwing up 4 more times.  I called the ER they advised me to see the pedi first.  When I didn’t hear back from the doctor’s office I drove over there.  We talked to the nurse on duty in the Dr office and she talked to our doctor who advised us to go down to the ER incase he needed to have iv fluids.

We got in the ER right away and had a room.  About 30-40 minutes after just sitting waiting the nurse came in and gave him a high dose of anti-nausea med.  Then about 20 min after that she came back and said they needed to move us to the hall.  ok, he was in his stroller so not so big of a deal.  We were out there for about 15 or so minutes when they wheeled this guy in who was sick with who knows what and smelled like he was rotting from the inside out.  When the ER Doc saw us sitting in the hall he said “get them into a room that baby shouldn’t be outside of this room” finally after another 15+ minutes we were moved to another room where after about 30 minutes I found the TV remote.  In all that time he managed to get 2 Popsicles and kept them down.  1:30 pm comes and we are finally discharged.  I was told to give him 1-2 oz every  10 – 15 minutes of pedialyte (or other non dairy beverage) he could have crackers after about 4-5 hours of keeping fluids down (I cheated he had 3 crackers sporadically and kept them down) and needed to pee at least once every 8 hours.  He had a wet diaper at 1:00 pm and a slightly damp diaper at 6:00 pm.  He was bone dry at 8:50 pm when I put him to bed for the night.  Tomorrow I will start the 1-2 oz every 10 min for a couple of hours and then see how wet he gets.  Hopefully he pees if not we will be headed to Beverly ER tomorrow since I think they are more equipped for toddlers.

What a day…  And tomorrow will come soon…  Ahhh the joys of motherhood.

What is Happening to this Country?

I hear reports ever day it seems as to how a teenager has disappeared.  Why is it that so many kids from 13- 16 years old seem to be vanishing?  Is there a predator out there taking them and selling them?  Are they getting mixed up with mysterious “online” dating?  Are they hooking up with strangers, fall in “love” and then run away?

The most alarming things I keep hearing about is all the toddlers that are being snatched.  First of all why would anyone let a toddler play without supervision in the front yard?  That is just asking for a disaster.  Oh man, I would never let our little one play outside alone this young.  Heck, who knows what age is “ok” these days.  What happened to the days when I was a young kid and could not only play outside alone but could ride my bike around the neighborhood alone and go out and play as long as I was back in time for dinner or before dark which ever came first?  There are so many more things to worry about with our young children these days.

Sometimes I think if our little guy could be locked up and kept on a leash to keep him safe I would in a heartbeat if I thought it wouldn’t traumatized him.  But we can’t do that to our kids, if we did they would grow up missing the most fundamental aspects of growing up…  Time away from Mom and Dad to do what they want and to explore new things.

My heart goes out to all parents and families who have lost a child.  For the children who are missing, I hope most of them can be found and brought home.

 

Getting Close to the Time of Year We Verbally Give Thanks…

I love all the people who have really stuck by my side no matter what and for that each moment I am very thankful to have each of you in my life, you are my family.

Some of you I haven’t met in person and you have still been there for me when I needed a sounding board.
Some of you I have known practically my whole life and others for a short while.
No matter where you are in the world, near or far, you are in my heart, thoughts and prayers each moment of every day.
You are the ones who give me strength to be who I am no matter what the obstacles.
You are the ones who stand beside me and hold my hand when times get rough.
You are the ones that against all odds will be there for me as steady as a rock.
Some of you will lose contact with me yet even then you will still be in my heart like family.
Some of you will reconnect with me after years apart and a piece of my heart will heal.
Some of you will be lost forever and for that, my heart grieves for you and the loss with each moment that passes you will be missed.
This is the time of year when I verbally say “Thank You Friends, for being my Family.”

To those who have strayed from our bond
Know the door is always open,
The phone line is always clear,
Social media is accessible.
You are never out of my heart, thoughts and well wishes.
Always remember, you are loved for who you are not by the actions you take.
You are family, no matter what drifts people apart, family is forever.

❤  Many blessings to be shared with those near and far, from the depths of my heart “I Thank You”.  ❤

Having a PPD Moment … Getting Personal… Family, Heartbreak and Hope…

** DISCLAIMER **  I wrote this on Nov 15th and made it a private post.  It is a very emotional post and I wasn’t going to post it but, after talking to some of the women in my PPD group I have decided to make it public.  I am not the only one going through these emotions even though situations may be different the raw emotion expressed here is me to the core.  I will not apologize for my feelings as they are a part of who I am.  This post was written to help me heal a wound that had occurred as a result of events unknown to me, we are the ones who are living with and feeling the effects of someone else’s decisions that I can not control.  The person who looses the most is my son.   My follow-up post is GETTING CLOSE TO THE TIME OF YEAR WE VERBALLY GIVE THANKS…  where I thank everyone who is close in my heart.  **
As we get closer to making the big move.  I am laying out the cost and looking for places to live.  I like the idea of finding a nice townhouse to rent to start with and then we can take the time to find a nice house in my old school district.  And it looks like we should be able to make our move in about 18 months give or take a couple of months.  And as I think about moving I am excited to be closer to family and friends some, who I have known since I was a wee little girl.  This isn’t a case of “the grass is greener” but of “this grass just ain’t gettin’ greener.”  :/

We now live in a small(very small, the size of a town) city with a handful of my SO’s family around.  They aren’t as close-knit as my family is even with all the miles between us.  It makes me sad to be so close to family and not get to see them in so long.  I know everyone is busy with work and nuclear family time but my son has a cousin 6 weeks older than him who he hasn’t seen since Easter.  And that breaks my heart.  I always extend invites and many times never receive a reply.  My mind knows it isn’t anything personal, but my heart feels otherwise.  Oh well…  I keep the hope that we will see everyone before we move to NY but as time passes my heart grows weary and sad.

When I think about it I get so sad and then I think about how some people might think I have it easy being a stay home mom who gets to play with her child all day.  Let me say…  it is hard to find activities to entertain and educate our little guy all day, EVERY day, 7 days a week.  Some days I would love to have a child care provider I could drop him off at and then pick him up, even if just for 2 hours.  I love my son with all my heart and would do anything for him and anything to protect him but sometimes mommy needs a break too.  Yes, it is fun to watch his mind work every moment and yes it is nice to be able to do things with him.  Am I lucky??  Some days I really question if I am and I think that a family with 2 working parents have it easy being able to drop their child/children off to someone so they can have the daunting task of entertaining a toddler.  Usually those days are accompanied with the major meltdowns or tantrums from being frustrated.

Add in that I am not just a Stay At Home Mom(SAHM) but I am trying to launch a company using nap times as work times, staying up late working on various products, making tutorials, doing research and setting up a webstore.  My SO works 11.5 hours a day 5-6 days a week and when he gets home he has about 1.5 hours with our son before it is bedtime.  I am up until about 11pm almost every night working on business stuff that I can’t get done during the day.  The little guy wakes around 5 am but never after 6:15am.  In our house 6:15 is sleeping in.  So there’s not much time for sleep.

A little more than 2 months ago my SO had to be rushed to the hospital with chest pains.  I was scared out of my mind, I had no one I could really talk to other than his Mom, who is wonderful and I love her dearly, but she was only here in town for vacation.  We were very lucky it wasn’t his heart but it really put life into perspective for us.  We made the decision to move to NY so I could be closer to a tight-knit support group of family and friends.  It will be nice to be closer to the friends and family I left when I moved to Fl 15 years ago.  I miss my parents, my siblings (even though 1/2 are not in the area anymore), my friends who have stayed by my side even though we have had over 1000 miles between us, and all my nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles and cousins…  I look forward to all the play dates, family get togethers, “mommy” time, and having a network of fabulous people who I can call and say “hey, I am stressed out, can you help me out” and know that they will be there as soon as they can to lend a hand.

I will miss our family we have here in MA, of course, but with everyone working such crazy hours there aren’t enough hours in a day to squeeze in anyone but the nuclear family.  I have gotten really close with Sean’s Aunt and love spending time with her.  I will miss her tons and will have to teach her how to Skype.  I was asked today “How great is it that your little one has a cousin to play with who is the same age?”  I replied, “I don’t know, we haven’t seen them since a few days after Easter.”  The person responded “That is so sad, hope you see them soon.”  In that moment I felt my heart sink wondering if we will see them before we move.  I try to keep it all in and not let the emotions out but some days it is harder than others to mask my sadness, and today is one of those days.  Today I have thought about how much I miss all our family and friends near and far.  Some days I feel so isolated because I am a SAHM and feel as I and our family is not worthy of other’s time, like I am not good enough…  I work my butt off all day everyday to not only raise our son but to build a business of our own.

That is all the jumbled rant I have today.  I am sure getting this out and a good night sleep will do wonders to lift up my spirits.  In just over 6 hours I will have to smile and giggle my way through the day, “fake it till ya make it” philosophy.