A Modern Day Prince Charming

I just finished reading “My Husband is Not My Prince Charming” by Bucket List Publications, and it has inspired me to tell my story of my “Modern Day Prince Charming”

Our Story:

I was living solo in Fl when my fiancée and I met.  I had a good job, finished my masters and was working on my PhD.  He didn’t “rescue me” from anything other than being single, which I was enjoying.  I guess in a way he is my Modern Day Prince Charming.  He isn’t a fairy tale version of Prince Charming but he is my version.  He is everything I ever wanted in a man strong, fun, adventurous, giving, loving, tender, mellow, easy to talk to, goofy, sexy, nerdy (just like me) and so much more.

He is my compliment, with as many thing we have in common we have equally the same amount of things about us that are opposite from the other.  We compliment each other very well.  If I am upset he is my rock, my calming force.  That works both ways, if he is mad or frustrated I am relaxed and calming for him.  We are a team.  When I am super excited about something he is so relaxed and brings me back down to earth.  I do the same for him only I call it giving him a dose of reality.  hah

I think now in a world of independent woman the Prince Charming role has evolved into what a woman wants in a life partner.

The Excitement of Moving

A few months ago we decided to move.  Our target time frame is about 16 months from now.  We decided to move to be closer to family and friends.  My fiancée had a scare in September.  After everything calmed down and he was home from the hospital we talked about the what if’s.  He would like us to be close to family and friends who could help me out if anything should happen.  Home is where ever we are together, but with the little guy in tow now our priorities have changed.

I spent today looking at various apartments and places for rent online.  Some I knew of but I found one that is a hidden gem.  Has everything we would ever want.  It is a townhouse with a full basement with washer and dryer hook ups, 1 full bath up stairs and a 1/2 bath on the 1st floor, HUGE kitchen and living room, but the best thing is the private fenced in small garden backyard.  The best part is that it cost the same as what we are paying for our 1 bedroom 1 bath we have now.

Now I am super excited!!  I am looking forward to visiting in the spring so I can check it out.  It will be so nice to be around my family and have Robert grow up with his cousins and my friends kids who are the same age.  I have started organizing our stuff and we have consolidated everything we can.  ♥

Getting Close to the Time of Year We Verbally Give Thanks…

I love all the people who have really stuck by my side no matter what and for that each moment I am very thankful to have each of you in my life, you are my family.

Some of you I haven’t met in person and you have still been there for me when I needed a sounding board.
Some of you I have known practically my whole life and others for a short while.
No matter where you are in the world, near or far, you are in my heart, thoughts and prayers each moment of every day.
You are the ones who give me strength to be who I am no matter what the obstacles.
You are the ones who stand beside me and hold my hand when times get rough.
You are the ones that against all odds will be there for me as steady as a rock.
Some of you will lose contact with me yet even then you will still be in my heart like family.
Some of you will reconnect with me after years apart and a piece of my heart will heal.
Some of you will be lost forever and for that, my heart grieves for you and the loss with each moment that passes you will be missed.
This is the time of year when I verbally say “Thank You Friends, for being my Family.”

To those who have strayed from our bond
Know the door is always open,
The phone line is always clear,
Social media is accessible.
You are never out of my heart, thoughts and well wishes.
Always remember, you are loved for who you are not by the actions you take.
You are family, no matter what drifts people apart, family is forever.

❤  Many blessings to be shared with those near and far, from the depths of my heart “I Thank You”.  ❤

Having a PPD Moment … Getting Personal… Family, Heartbreak and Hope…

** DISCLAIMER **  I wrote this on Nov 15th and made it a private post.  It is a very emotional post and I wasn’t going to post it but, after talking to some of the women in my PPD group I have decided to make it public.  I am not the only one going through these emotions even though situations may be different the raw emotion expressed here is me to the core.  I will not apologize for my feelings as they are a part of who I am.  This post was written to help me heal a wound that had occurred as a result of events unknown to me, we are the ones who are living with and feeling the effects of someone else’s decisions that I can not control.  The person who looses the most is my son.   My follow-up post is GETTING CLOSE TO THE TIME OF YEAR WE VERBALLY GIVE THANKS…  where I thank everyone who is close in my heart.  **
As we get closer to making the big move.  I am laying out the cost and looking for places to live.  I like the idea of finding a nice townhouse to rent to start with and then we can take the time to find a nice house in my old school district.  And it looks like we should be able to make our move in about 18 months give or take a couple of months.  And as I think about moving I am excited to be closer to family and friends some, who I have known since I was a wee little girl.  This isn’t a case of “the grass is greener” but of “this grass just ain’t gettin’ greener.”  :/

We now live in a small(very small, the size of a town) city with a handful of my SO’s family around.  They aren’t as close-knit as my family is even with all the miles between us.  It makes me sad to be so close to family and not get to see them in so long.  I know everyone is busy with work and nuclear family time but my son has a cousin 6 weeks older than him who he hasn’t seen since Easter.  And that breaks my heart.  I always extend invites and many times never receive a reply.  My mind knows it isn’t anything personal, but my heart feels otherwise.  Oh well…  I keep the hope that we will see everyone before we move to NY but as time passes my heart grows weary and sad.

When I think about it I get so sad and then I think about how some people might think I have it easy being a stay home mom who gets to play with her child all day.  Let me say…  it is hard to find activities to entertain and educate our little guy all day, EVERY day, 7 days a week.  Some days I would love to have a child care provider I could drop him off at and then pick him up, even if just for 2 hours.  I love my son with all my heart and would do anything for him and anything to protect him but sometimes mommy needs a break too.  Yes, it is fun to watch his mind work every moment and yes it is nice to be able to do things with him.  Am I lucky??  Some days I really question if I am and I think that a family with 2 working parents have it easy being able to drop their child/children off to someone so they can have the daunting task of entertaining a toddler.  Usually those days are accompanied with the major meltdowns or tantrums from being frustrated.

Add in that I am not just a Stay At Home Mom(SAHM) but I am trying to launch a company using nap times as work times, staying up late working on various products, making tutorials, doing research and setting up a webstore.  My SO works 11.5 hours a day 5-6 days a week and when he gets home he has about 1.5 hours with our son before it is bedtime.  I am up until about 11pm almost every night working on business stuff that I can’t get done during the day.  The little guy wakes around 5 am but never after 6:15am.  In our house 6:15 is sleeping in.  So there’s not much time for sleep.

A little more than 2 months ago my SO had to be rushed to the hospital with chest pains.  I was scared out of my mind, I had no one I could really talk to other than his Mom, who is wonderful and I love her dearly, but she was only here in town for vacation.  We were very lucky it wasn’t his heart but it really put life into perspective for us.  We made the decision to move to NY so I could be closer to a tight-knit support group of family and friends.  It will be nice to be closer to the friends and family I left when I moved to Fl 15 years ago.  I miss my parents, my siblings (even though 1/2 are not in the area anymore), my friends who have stayed by my side even though we have had over 1000 miles between us, and all my nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles and cousins…  I look forward to all the play dates, family get togethers, “mommy” time, and having a network of fabulous people who I can call and say “hey, I am stressed out, can you help me out” and know that they will be there as soon as they can to lend a hand.

I will miss our family we have here in MA, of course, but with everyone working such crazy hours there aren’t enough hours in a day to squeeze in anyone but the nuclear family.  I have gotten really close with Sean’s Aunt and love spending time with her.  I will miss her tons and will have to teach her how to Skype.  I was asked today “How great is it that your little one has a cousin to play with who is the same age?”  I replied, “I don’t know, we haven’t seen them since a few days after Easter.”  The person responded “That is so sad, hope you see them soon.”  In that moment I felt my heart sink wondering if we will see them before we move.  I try to keep it all in and not let the emotions out but some days it is harder than others to mask my sadness, and today is one of those days.  Today I have thought about how much I miss all our family and friends near and far.  Some days I feel so isolated because I am a SAHM and feel as I and our family is not worthy of other’s time, like I am not good enough…  I work my butt off all day everyday to not only raise our son but to build a business of our own.

That is all the jumbled rant I have today.  I am sure getting this out and a good night sleep will do wonders to lift up my spirits.  In just over 6 hours I will have to smile and giggle my way through the day, “fake it till ya make it” philosophy.

 

Road Trip Success

I had the car loaded and ready to go for our departure first thing in the morning.  I had all kinds of good stuff for us to listen to from Marbles’ Brain Beats, Katy Perry, Disney nursery rhymes, VNV Nation, Wumpscut, Dimmu Borgir, jewel’s lullabies and a bi-lingual toddler book on tape.  I learned real quick he was on with the nursery rhymes cd once by round 2 he was ready for something new.  He would sing along to just about everything.  As for activities for him to do I didn’t leave anything out.  I had everything packed from a new stuffed crab to give him if he got “crabby” to a few of his favorite toys.  I had the iPad loaded with a couple of Disney short films and Thomas the Train story collection, or so I thought.  We were about 2 hours away from our destination and we stopped at a rest area so I could pop in the video.  OH BOY was I surprised when I went to pull up Thomas and it said “Unable to load video”.  WHAT, But I tested it and it played fine at the house???  Apparently it didn’t finish downloading completely.  grrrrr  So here I was 2 hours away and my plan was derailed.  But not to fret because within about 20 minutes he fell asleep again and was out for about 40 more minutes.

He didn’t even need the movie he had his favorite monkey, his sippy cup, his cup of goldfish, and his Leap Frog “Scout” dog and he was perfectly happy the entire trip.  Only a couple of times he didn’t want to get in the car but it was nothing once I got him in and handed him Mr Monkey he was fine.  I have been blessed with a very good traveler.  Thankfully Daddy will arrive before we have to travel back home and he will ride back with us.

The next solo trip is a 24 hour trip down the coast to Florida to see the grandparents in the wintertime.  That will be the next adventure.

 

Twas the Night Before the Road Trip

Twas the night before our first epic road trip
Just mommy and an 18 month old toddler
A nice night to curl up in bed
Dream of sugar plums and fairies dancing in my head
With a big yawn and a rub of my eyes
I am sure to get a good night sleep
For in the morning I will rise to the sound of my little guy
Full of energy and ready for adventure
We will surely experience
An epic road trip
Just me and my little guy