My Blog – My Way

I know I post things that can be controversial, opinionated and sometimes very personal.  I open up on here as a way to help others by sharing some of the things I am going through.  One of the biggest things that happened to me in 2013 was joining a Postpartum Depression (PPD) Support Group.  Most of my friends and family had no clue how depressed I really was.  I never really talked about it.  Maybe I should have but I am now and that is what matters.  It was important for me to have a place where I wasn’t judged for the things I was feeling.  A place where I was accepted and supported by other moms going through the same thing.  I did a couple of blogs about my PPD but I never really told how I was feeling to the core until the past month.  My feelings are raw.  It has been 7 years since my best friend in the universe died and some days it still feels like it was yesterday.  I never thought I would find a friend who truly understood and accepted me for me again.  I didn’t think I would find someone I would have that tight sisterly bond with.  Someone I can think of and shoot a text to just as they are doing the same to me.  But I did, and just at the right time in my life when I really needed a close friend.  My life was filling with drama and I couldn’t stop it.  The more drama there was the more I started to feel like I was having an allergic reaction to life.  I was trying to hold it all together and keep all my feelings and emotions bottled up inside.  I had let everything build up inside until I was so unbelievable sad that I was lost in heartbreak.  I poured myself into helping others who didn’t have anything for their children for Christmas.  My sweet friend was there for me and listened to me even though she has her own troubles going on.

2014 will be a turning point in my life.  This is the year that our business takes off and we have the income to move to be close to family and friends.  It saddens me to think about moving away from my new bestie and I wish I could pack her and her whole sweet family up and take them with us, but we can’t.  I refuse to allow drama in my life and I refuse to have PPD overcome my emotions this year.  I am stronger than those depressing thoughts.  I am stronger than the obstacles we have to overcome.  This is the year I start taking time for me as a person not me as a mom.  I am back and I will be blogging everything from personal feelings, reviews, cool finds, and so much more…

I titled this “My Blog – My Way” because that is how I feel.  This is MY blog about MY feelings and MY life.  All MY content is from the heart and reflects what I am feeling.  This is MY place to vent, to share with the world with hopes that there is someone out there saying “wow, if she can make it so can I” or “gee, I know how she feels”.  I don’t write to attack people or to hurt others, I write to heal MY heart and soul.  The physical realm we all share in unique to each one of us and this blog is about ME and how I view MY world.

Until later…

Letter to My Baby Boy

Dearest baby boy,

You are about to turn 2 and you amaze me every single day.  Things that I used to think were minor or small are somehow now huge.  I look at you with awe and wonder how I got so lucky to have you come into our lives.  You beat so many odds to be here with us.  My little miracle!!  I love you more and more every day.  At 23 months old you are able to recognize numbers up to 25, say numbers 1-10(not in order yet, but that is ok), point out your alphabet, find objects in your find and seek books, talk in 3 word sentences that sometimes only I understand and point to a handful of countries on the world map.  You know lots of colors, shapes and animals.  Sometimes I feel like I am not teaching you enough but then I remember you aren’t even 2 years old yet.

I love how when you do something wrong you say “OTOH”, run to me and give me a hug as if to say “don’t be mad mama, I’m sorry!”  I love how you cuddle with your “kitty”(snow leopard), blue monkey, and me on the couch even if it is for only 30 seconds.  I love how when you wake up and I come to your room you are smiling with “kitty” and blue monkey in your arms ready for me to get you out.  Getting you guys out is no joke and sometimes you want to add another animal to our “getting up adventure” OH BOY my arms are so full I don’t know where my little guy is.  I love how you fake cry so obviously and you even get those tears working.  But Mama and Daddy are on to that cry…

Happy almost 2 years baby boy, Mommy loves you!!!