Letter to My Baby Boy

Dearest baby boy,

You are about to turn 2 and you amaze me every single day.  Things that I used to think were minor or small are somehow now huge.  I look at you with awe and wonder how I got so lucky to have you come into our lives.  You beat so many odds to be here with us.  My little miracle!!  I love you more and more every day.  At 23 months old you are able to recognize numbers up to 25, say numbers 1-10(not in order yet, but that is ok), point out your alphabet, find objects in your find and seek books, talk in 3 word sentences that sometimes only I understand and point to a handful of countries on the world map.  You know lots of colors, shapes and animals.  Sometimes I feel like I am not teaching you enough but then I remember you aren’t even 2 years old yet.

I love how when you do something wrong you say “OTOH”, run to me and give me a hug as if to say “don’t be mad mama, I’m sorry!”  I love how you cuddle with your “kitty”(snow leopard), blue monkey, and me on the couch even if it is for only 30 seconds.  I love how when you wake up and I come to your room you are smiling with “kitty” and blue monkey in your arms ready for me to get you out.  Getting you guys out is no joke and sometimes you want to add another animal to our “getting up adventure” OH BOY my arms are so full I don’t know where my little guy is.  I love how you fake cry so obviously and you even get those tears working.  But Mama and Daddy are on to that cry…

Happy almost 2 years baby boy, Mommy loves you!!!

Size 4 Diaper Challenge – Huggies Lil’ Movers vs. Luvs

About a month ago I did a diaper study.  My brief overview of both diapers with a short comment.  Our little guy is thin, 34 inches tall and 25lbs.

Luvs:

Fit: nice hug around the legs with a decent pocket for absorption.
Absorption:  Great, no gel leakage when worn over night or after a long pee.
Poo Containment:  No leaks even on his most messy poops
Comments:  We switched to Luvs originally to save some money on diapers not thinking what we were getting was so fabulous.  I love Luvs.

Huggies Lil’ Movers:

Fit: a little loose around the legs but has a nice fit around the belly
Absorption:  Good, gel tends to leak if used as an overnight diaper.
Poo Containment:  No leaks even on his most messy poops
Comments:  overall not a bad diaper, not a good fit for our little guy’s body type.  I think they would work better for babies with chunkier legs.  Spoiler alert: the new diaper formula Huggies is working on is fabulous and if I see it come out we may switch.

Child Safety … Something We Should All Have…

Child safety is a huge issue.  Our little guy is almost 2, 25 pounds, and still rear facing.  I have had people tell me that “he will like it better if he was facing forward”, “I turned my child when they were one” and “why do you still have him rear facing”.  The fact is he LIKES rear facing.  he has always like to sit with his legs up to his chest.  Why???  I have no clue, sure doesn’t look comfortable but if he likes it why change it.  He hasn’t reached the height limit yet so I will keep him rear facing.  He will probably be the only rear facing 3-year-old I know.

Rear facing or forward facing doesn’t really matter when it comes to the what if’s…  What if you or someone who had your child is in an accident?  What happens if there isn’t anyone to speak for the baby?  I didn’t even think of this until I was researching rear/front facing topic.  I found a program called CHAD Children Have An iDentity on the Ohio EMS page.  They have a printable form that you can fill out and tape to your child’s car seat.  I figure why not put it also on the stroller or in our wallets/purse/backpack.  It is smart to have an edited version in the glove box too.

The CHAD form has a space for the child’s name, nickname, DOB, address, doctor, emergency contact other than the parents, special needs info, medications, allergies, and important phone numbers.  Here is a picture of what you can print.  Click on the picture to be linked to the Ohio EMS page that has the downloadable file.

Christmas is a Time for Giving

Well I am wore out and I still have 2 days of running around to do. I have driven around and picked up a lot of items people wanted to gift to families in need for this christmas season. I was inspired by a dear friend of mine and a post she put on one of our Facebook boards. We put others before ourselves and I am sure that is what makes us such good friends. It has been a very long time since I have had a close friend like this.

When I saw her post I noticed people had said that they had stuff but she doesn’t have a car to pick stuff up.  We happened to be getting stuff from the same person and I asked if she was giving stuff to my friend and told her I would pick it up at the same time.  At that moment I knew what would really mean a lot, pick up the items people were offering and then taking them to families in need.  Some I wrapped so the families wouldn’t have to try to do that as well and other requested no wrapping so they could do that.  Turns out there are more people who need at least one present to put under their tree than I ever thought there was.  My heart breaks because I know first hand how hard it is and the struggle of being a single family income.  But, in the end it fills my heart with great joy to know that I can help put a smile on a little child’s face just by taking a little of my time to pick up and drop off some things.

Christmas is a time of year when we should think of others not ourselves.  Give to others to see their joy and never expect anything back in return. Plus it is more fun to give than to get.  2 more days of pick ups and drop offs.  YAWN  This girl needs some sleep.

 

HELLO CYBER MONDAY – I missed getting a sale up…

Well, today was a very eventful day.  I intended to get a good sale up, do some promotional stuff.  But our little guy was sick..  So very sick.  He threw up sometime last night and didn’t even cry out for me.  When I went to get him this morning I was shocked to see how much puke there was in his crib.  I immediately got him undressed and in the shower.  He was acting normal, happy and full of energy.  I got him his first shower of the day then went and cleaned up his crib and bedroom.  He was out in the living room with his daddy, followed him in the bathroom for something and projectile vomited everywhere.  OH BOY and this was the beginning to my fabulous day.  I tried calling the Dr but there was no answer so when I tried the on call service they told me the office was open.  I tried again and left a message on their voicemail.  After not getting an answer in 15 minutes and the little guy throwing up 4 more times.  I called the ER they advised me to see the pedi first.  When I didn’t hear back from the doctor’s office I drove over there.  We talked to the nurse on duty in the Dr office and she talked to our doctor who advised us to go down to the ER incase he needed to have iv fluids.

We got in the ER right away and had a room.  About 30-40 minutes after just sitting waiting the nurse came in and gave him a high dose of anti-nausea med.  Then about 20 min after that she came back and said they needed to move us to the hall.  ok, he was in his stroller so not so big of a deal.  We were out there for about 15 or so minutes when they wheeled this guy in who was sick with who knows what and smelled like he was rotting from the inside out.  When the ER Doc saw us sitting in the hall he said “get them into a room that baby shouldn’t be outside of this room” finally after another 15+ minutes we were moved to another room where after about 30 minutes I found the TV remote.  In all that time he managed to get 2 Popsicles and kept them down.  1:30 pm comes and we are finally discharged.  I was told to give him 1-2 oz every  10 – 15 minutes of pedialyte (or other non dairy beverage) he could have crackers after about 4-5 hours of keeping fluids down (I cheated he had 3 crackers sporadically and kept them down) and needed to pee at least once every 8 hours.  He had a wet diaper at 1:00 pm and a slightly damp diaper at 6:00 pm.  He was bone dry at 8:50 pm when I put him to bed for the night.  Tomorrow I will start the 1-2 oz every 10 min for a couple of hours and then see how wet he gets.  Hopefully he pees if not we will be headed to Beverly ER tomorrow since I think they are more equipped for toddlers.

What a day…  And tomorrow will come soon…  Ahhh the joys of motherhood.

What is Happening to this Country?

I hear reports ever day it seems as to how a teenager has disappeared.  Why is it that so many kids from 13- 16 years old seem to be vanishing?  Is there a predator out there taking them and selling them?  Are they getting mixed up with mysterious “online” dating?  Are they hooking up with strangers, fall in “love” and then run away?

The most alarming things I keep hearing about is all the toddlers that are being snatched.  First of all why would anyone let a toddler play without supervision in the front yard?  That is just asking for a disaster.  Oh man, I would never let our little one play outside alone this young.  Heck, who knows what age is “ok” these days.  What happened to the days when I was a young kid and could not only play outside alone but could ride my bike around the neighborhood alone and go out and play as long as I was back in time for dinner or before dark which ever came first?  There are so many more things to worry about with our young children these days.

Sometimes I think if our little guy could be locked up and kept on a leash to keep him safe I would in a heartbeat if I thought it wouldn’t traumatized him.  But we can’t do that to our kids, if we did they would grow up missing the most fundamental aspects of growing up…  Time away from Mom and Dad to do what they want and to explore new things.

My heart goes out to all parents and families who have lost a child.  For the children who are missing, I hope most of them can be found and brought home.

 

Getting Close to the Time of Year We Verbally Give Thanks…

I love all the people who have really stuck by my side no matter what and for that each moment I am very thankful to have each of you in my life, you are my family.

Some of you I haven’t met in person and you have still been there for me when I needed a sounding board.
Some of you I have known practically my whole life and others for a short while.
No matter where you are in the world, near or far, you are in my heart, thoughts and prayers each moment of every day.
You are the ones who give me strength to be who I am no matter what the obstacles.
You are the ones who stand beside me and hold my hand when times get rough.
You are the ones that against all odds will be there for me as steady as a rock.
Some of you will lose contact with me yet even then you will still be in my heart like family.
Some of you will reconnect with me after years apart and a piece of my heart will heal.
Some of you will be lost forever and for that, my heart grieves for you and the loss with each moment that passes you will be missed.
This is the time of year when I verbally say “Thank You Friends, for being my Family.”

To those who have strayed from our bond
Know the door is always open,
The phone line is always clear,
Social media is accessible.
You are never out of my heart, thoughts and well wishes.
Always remember, you are loved for who you are not by the actions you take.
You are family, no matter what drifts people apart, family is forever.

❤  Many blessings to be shared with those near and far, from the depths of my heart “I Thank You”.  ❤

Having a PPD Moment … Getting Personal… Family, Heartbreak and Hope…

** DISCLAIMER **  I wrote this on Nov 15th and made it a private post.  It is a very emotional post and I wasn’t going to post it but, after talking to some of the women in my PPD group I have decided to make it public.  I am not the only one going through these emotions even though situations may be different the raw emotion expressed here is me to the core.  I will not apologize for my feelings as they are a part of who I am.  This post was written to help me heal a wound that had occurred as a result of events unknown to me, we are the ones who are living with and feeling the effects of someone else’s decisions that I can not control.  The person who looses the most is my son.   My follow-up post is GETTING CLOSE TO THE TIME OF YEAR WE VERBALLY GIVE THANKS…  where I thank everyone who is close in my heart.  **
As we get closer to making the big move.  I am laying out the cost and looking for places to live.  I like the idea of finding a nice townhouse to rent to start with and then we can take the time to find a nice house in my old school district.  And it looks like we should be able to make our move in about 18 months give or take a couple of months.  And as I think about moving I am excited to be closer to family and friends some, who I have known since I was a wee little girl.  This isn’t a case of “the grass is greener” but of “this grass just ain’t gettin’ greener.”  :/

We now live in a small(very small, the size of a town) city with a handful of my SO’s family around.  They aren’t as close-knit as my family is even with all the miles between us.  It makes me sad to be so close to family and not get to see them in so long.  I know everyone is busy with work and nuclear family time but my son has a cousin 6 weeks older than him who he hasn’t seen since Easter.  And that breaks my heart.  I always extend invites and many times never receive a reply.  My mind knows it isn’t anything personal, but my heart feels otherwise.  Oh well…  I keep the hope that we will see everyone before we move to NY but as time passes my heart grows weary and sad.

When I think about it I get so sad and then I think about how some people might think I have it easy being a stay home mom who gets to play with her child all day.  Let me say…  it is hard to find activities to entertain and educate our little guy all day, EVERY day, 7 days a week.  Some days I would love to have a child care provider I could drop him off at and then pick him up, even if just for 2 hours.  I love my son with all my heart and would do anything for him and anything to protect him but sometimes mommy needs a break too.  Yes, it is fun to watch his mind work every moment and yes it is nice to be able to do things with him.  Am I lucky??  Some days I really question if I am and I think that a family with 2 working parents have it easy being able to drop their child/children off to someone so they can have the daunting task of entertaining a toddler.  Usually those days are accompanied with the major meltdowns or tantrums from being frustrated.

Add in that I am not just a Stay At Home Mom(SAHM) but I am trying to launch a company using nap times as work times, staying up late working on various products, making tutorials, doing research and setting up a webstore.  My SO works 11.5 hours a day 5-6 days a week and when he gets home he has about 1.5 hours with our son before it is bedtime.  I am up until about 11pm almost every night working on business stuff that I can’t get done during the day.  The little guy wakes around 5 am but never after 6:15am.  In our house 6:15 is sleeping in.  So there’s not much time for sleep.

A little more than 2 months ago my SO had to be rushed to the hospital with chest pains.  I was scared out of my mind, I had no one I could really talk to other than his Mom, who is wonderful and I love her dearly, but she was only here in town for vacation.  We were very lucky it wasn’t his heart but it really put life into perspective for us.  We made the decision to move to NY so I could be closer to a tight-knit support group of family and friends.  It will be nice to be closer to the friends and family I left when I moved to Fl 15 years ago.  I miss my parents, my siblings (even though 1/2 are not in the area anymore), my friends who have stayed by my side even though we have had over 1000 miles between us, and all my nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles and cousins…  I look forward to all the play dates, family get togethers, “mommy” time, and having a network of fabulous people who I can call and say “hey, I am stressed out, can you help me out” and know that they will be there as soon as they can to lend a hand.

I will miss our family we have here in MA, of course, but with everyone working such crazy hours there aren’t enough hours in a day to squeeze in anyone but the nuclear family.  I have gotten really close with Sean’s Aunt and love spending time with her.  I will miss her tons and will have to teach her how to Skype.  I was asked today “How great is it that your little one has a cousin to play with who is the same age?”  I replied, “I don’t know, we haven’t seen them since a few days after Easter.”  The person responded “That is so sad, hope you see them soon.”  In that moment I felt my heart sink wondering if we will see them before we move.  I try to keep it all in and not let the emotions out but some days it is harder than others to mask my sadness, and today is one of those days.  Today I have thought about how much I miss all our family and friends near and far.  Some days I feel so isolated because I am a SAHM and feel as I and our family is not worthy of other’s time, like I am not good enough…  I work my butt off all day everyday to not only raise our son but to build a business of our own.

That is all the jumbled rant I have today.  I am sure getting this out and a good night sleep will do wonders to lift up my spirits.  In just over 6 hours I will have to smile and giggle my way through the day, “fake it till ya make it” philosophy.

 

Leaps and Bounds … Our Little Guy is Amazing!!

People thought I was nuts when I was pregnant buying the little guy flashcards of colors, numbers, shapes and the alphabet. Well…

I have done the alphabet cards (and the others as well) with R since he was about a year old (maybe sooner). I would tell his daddy what he was doing but the other day my heart melted. We went to visit daddy at work and I put R down so he could wander. He went to the “Paper Only” sign and pointed at the A and said “ah” then pointed at the E and said “ee”. He did it on his own with no coaching and he did it a few times. Yesterday when I showed him the “A” card he said “Ah”…”Ba”(for b)… “Ka”(like the cat minus the “t”).. “Da”.. “E” and clapped.

AMAZING how their brains are little sponges.

R is almost 20 months old 😀

Caption This Photo

I wanna drop and roll

Our little guy at 18 months old has already fallen in love with a Penny Board.  OH BOY!!!